I'm really into asian looking animals
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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