a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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