I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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