I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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