Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
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There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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