I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
