I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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