it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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