Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize