Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
