Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
