my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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