I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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