I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
