i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
