It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
