I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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