drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
