i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
