You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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