During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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