Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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