I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize