dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
