I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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