If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
