A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I cannot find my penis.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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