when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
