doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
