i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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