The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
accomplished twins. life is a go
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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