i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
