why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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