sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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