So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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