New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
