Moan for me like Helen Keller
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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