i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
