How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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