i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
