grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Let's paint friendship bongs
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
