I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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