If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
