Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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