And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
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I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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