told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
