and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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