whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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