I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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