I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wear drunk well.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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