it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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