Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
