Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
