I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
