The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
