New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
