wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
This house was built for laser tag.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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