I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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