Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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