Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Houston, we have a blender
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
