We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
40s are totally the cure
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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