we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
