dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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