If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
