pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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