So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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