I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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